


Who could deny these butterflies or we fix each other's stomachaches

by Badass_iero



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Anorexia, M/M, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-31
Updated: 2015-07-31
Packaged: 2018-04-12 07:43:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4471001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Badass_iero/pseuds/Badass_iero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danger days era when Gerard was anorexic, and frank at any point in time cause he's always had those tummy aches :( </p><p>Franks tummy isn't feeling well and Gerard spoons him to make him feel better, and then frank finds out about Gee being anorexic and ignores his own tummy ache and takes care of Gee.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who could deny these butterflies or we fix each other's stomachaches

**Author's Note:**

> HUGE PSA!!!  
> Under no circumstance did Gerard starve himself during danger days because of frank, frank was never and never will be the reason for that hard time in Gerard's life and should NEVER be the blame for anyone's anorexia. This story is literally just cause some people like stories that have real life stuff in it, like eating disorders and mental health problems, rather than everyone loving each other and living happily ever after like basically every other story out there.   
> Frank is a human being and never ever would do something, intentionally or unintentionally to cause someone any type of harm, and this story is not glorifying anorexia.   
> As always, please don't annoy the frick out of either of the boys by saying dumbass shit about frerard, they have fucking WIVES and CHILDREN, there is no reason to bring frerard up, because there is no more frerard. We can love it with old videos, pictures and fanfic, but there is no reason to bring it up to either of them because it's clearly a sensitive topic and it doesn't exists anyways. Frerard is over and you have to accept that, sure, we can still ship it to the grave and eat it up by the spoonful, but I swear to god, do not mention anything frerard to either of them. 
> 
> Again, frank didn't cause gee to be anorexic, that's literally just the plot line of this story and for (educational?) (awareness?) (reality?) of the fact that anorexia is real and you might be anorexic or know someone who is anorexic.   
> Please, if you are anorexic please please get help, and if you maybe think that someone you know is anorexic, please go to someone you think has good discernment and ask them for help, or like frank, be bluntly honest and ask the person, but please remember to be nice about it, because it's never really Just about weight, it's about body dysphoria and insecurity. Approach the person, like frank, with love, opening with something along the lines of "I love you and care for you and notice that you look pretty thin lately, or I haven't seen you eat lately and I just want to make sure you're healthy because you're important to me" and ask them, preferably without using the blatant words "anorexic" or "eating disorder" or "mental health" and just be as loving as possible.   
> Thanks, and if you need any extra help, or need someone to talk to because you think you might be anorexic, or need a list of reasons not to be anorexic, or have any other eating disorders you want help with/ needs someone to talk to about, please just ask for my kik or Instagram.

Franks point of view

I plop down on the couch and grab the first blanket I can reach.   
The couch is mildly comfortable and I opt to sleep here instead of my bunk under Mikey's because he stays up late and the couch is more comfortable anyway. 

My stomach twists in knots, and I sigh, knowing one of those stupid stomach aches is coming and really not wanting it to come, but ultimately it's unavoidable. 

I hear all the guys come in, and close my eyes to pretend like I'm sleeping so no one asks what's wrong. 

"Shhhh! Frank is sleeping!" Mikey whisper/yells. "Are you kidding?" Ray says, dumbfounded. Gerard snickers and says "oh come on guys, do you really not know frank that well? He's literally faking it." 

At that, I can't help but crack a smile, because Gerard really does know me way too well for my own good. 

Except for the fact that he doesn't know I'm in love with him. 

"Ahhh see, what'd I tell ya boys, the little guys just playing around" Gerard says jokingly and walks away. "Oh well bye frank" Ray says as Mikey pushes him into the next room, following Gerard. 

I sigh at the fact that no one stayed, but shrug it off and end up trying to ease some of my stomach ache by tracing small circles with my hand over my stomach. 

Someone comes back and I close my eyes again and stop rubbing circles and listen to the sound of the footsteps to see if I can tell who it is, it's a fun game I trained myself to play and it's mostly paid off. 

It's either Mikey or Gerard, I swear those two are the same person sometimes. 

I listen for the unnecessary foot scraping that Mikey does occasionally, but none comes and I know it's Gerard. 

"What do you want" I say rudely, but add a smirk so he knows I'm playing. Before he can answer my stomach clenches hard and I try to mask it, but it hurts so bad that I wince accidentally. 

Panic immediately sets on Gerard's face and he rushes over to my side. 

"What's wrong? Is that that stomach thing you said you used to have?" He asks. 

I sigh and nod, and shit now I feel guilty as hell. 

"Honestly Gee, I lied when I said I used to get them. I still get them a lot, but I don't like to tell you guys cause then you worry and when they get really bad I feel like you guys would put me in the hospital" I finally admit. 

I feel like I just shot a puppy.   
Gerard's face changes completely and I don't know what to do. 

I get them randomly, but more often then anyone thinks. 

Gerard thinks the last one I had was a few years ago, but really it was like a week ago.   
Every time I know one comes I always hide in my bunk so no one knows and everyone just thinks I'm relaxing or some shit. 

I've spent too much time in the hospital for a lifetime that I don't ever tell anyone about these because I desperately do not want to go back. 

"Frank, I would never send you to the hospital if you didn't want to go, unless it was some serious shit like a shark biting your arm off and you trying to think it was badass" Gerard says, serious at first but then lightening up the mood by his stupid jokes. 

"I'm sorry" is all I can say before staring at my feet and pulling my arms around my stomach that still feels like I'm trying to digest a porcupine. 

"Hey don't be sorry" Gerard says sweetly. 

Then, he leans over to me and puts his arms behind my back and around my waist and pulls me so we're both laying on the couch and then he's spooning me. 

This is new. 

He traces random patterns around my stomach and gently soothes my stomach ache slightly. 

He adjusts himself and is flushed against my back, still being gentle and making my stomach feel a surprisingly bit better. 

But then the stomach ache changes to those weird, fluttery feelings, like middle school butterflies. 

When I realise that I'm getting butterflies from Gerard touching me sweetly and gently and silently humming in my ear while spooning me I blush hard and i'm so glad he's behind me. 

As I lay there, captivated by his hands I focus on the way he feels. 

His fingers are pretty thin and long, and bony.   
I might be imagining but I think I can feel the outline of his rib cage.   
All the blood drains from my face as I focus on the rest of his body.

"Hey Gee?" I ask quietly.   
"Yes Frankie?" He asks in my ear.   
"Just out of curiosity, what was the last thing you ate?" I ask nervously. 

His breathing hitches and his hand stops rubbing my stomach and I feel like I died inside. 

He wouldn't have that response if it was any of the variables I thought up. 

"Uh... Marshmallows or chips or some shit like that" he mutters.

"Gerard, the last time we had any marshmallows or chips on this damn bus was three days ago, and your little brother ate them all anyway" I say, and it comes out a little harsher than I intended. 

He pulls his hands away and rolls over so his back is against my back and he pulls his knees up to his face. 

I feel him shaking and I'm not sure if he's crying but I don't know what else to say. 

"Gerard, I was honest with you, now you have to be honest with me. How long have you been..." I say and I can't find the words to finish my sentence. 

"How long have I been starving myself?" He asks. 

"Yes" I say and close my eyes, bracing myself for the answer that no matter how long or short of time I know will make me cringe. 

"Two and a half months tomorrow" he says, and I inevitably cringe and it kills me that he knows the exact date. 

"Why...?" I ask nervously. 

"I don't know" he says, and I know the honesty in his voice is genuine. 

"I'm sorry" I say and out of impulse I flip over, doing the same thing he did to me. 

I snake my hands around his waist and rest my head in his shoulder and trace my hand along his hips and stomach and up his arms and it hurts to feel all these bones and his empty stomach and each ridge of his backbone in my chest, and I want to throw myself off a bridge for not noticing sooner. 

I ignore the wrenching in my stomach and focus on Gerard, because right now he needs more help than I do. 

"Gerard I want to help you but you've got to tell me how" I say in his ear and he sighs.

"Honestly, just kiss me, that's the only thing that can help me right now" he huffs out, and without thinking, that's exactly what I do. 

I turn his jaw just enough for me to plant a kiss on his lips and lean into his small frame. 

"Thank you" he says as I pull away and closes his eyes again, almost bliss on his face. 

"I love you" he says. 

"I love you too Gee, and I want you to know how perfect you are already and don't need to weigh less to be any more perfect" I say. 

"Uh... Okay. I don't exactly know what to say to that... Uhm... Can you just kiss me again?" He says and I laugh at his ability to still be cheeky as fuck in such a serious situation. 

"Sure" I reply and turn his jaw again and kiss him. 

Realisation hits me and don't think before opening my mouth and asking "please, please don't tell me this has anything to do with you thinking you need to be skinny enough for me to like you...?" 

He doesn't reply. 

Oh my god. Please no. 

"Gerard?" 

Silence. 

"Oh, Gerard" I say sadly.   
What a horrible mistake I've made. 

I couldn't just grow up and tell him I loved him, and so he doesn't eat with the idea in mind that maybe if he was skinnier that I would like him. 

"I'm so sorry Gee. I'm so sorry I didn't say anything before and I didn't tell you I loved you and think you're perfect, and I'm sorry I didn't notice before. I do love you and I adore you so much and I regret not telling you how in love I am with you, and if I ever knew it would have lead to this I would have confessed right away" I say, finally getting the words out. 

"You... You've loved me, like before I stopped eating?" He asks. 

That is heartbreaking to hear. 

"Of course I did, and I still do, but I need you to be healthy" I say and I feel him nod. 

"I just... I knew you had something for me for awhile, but I assumed, since you didn't make a move, it was something I was doing wrong, like being too loud or fat or emotional" he admits. 

"And if I would have known that's what you thought about me, I would have tried to change your thinking right away because those were never my thoughts. Gee, It was actually the opposite. I thought you were too amazing, hot, and fucking adorable and hilarious, and I didn't think you'd want me because I'm this weird, dark, quiet kind of dude and that's the total opposite of you" I say. 

He finally rolls over and looks me in the eyes and holds my gaze. 

His eyes are pink like he was about to start crying and his medium length red hair is slightly in his face. 

"I think you're the most loveable human being on this planet" he says and I can't help but laugh because he's so amazing and cute. 

"Thanks Gee, you too" I say and pull myself close to him. 

"I love you" he whispers. 

"I love you too." 

Gerard's point of view!

I hope Frank is here. 

We all shuffle in and frank lays on the couch, faking asleep. 

Shhhh! Frank is sleeping!" Mikey says, trying to whisper and yell at the same time. "Are you kidding?" Ray asks, dumbfounded. 

I snicker because they don't know him as well as I do. "oh come on guys, do you really not know frank that well? He's literally faking it" I say and immediately a smile rises I his cute face. 

"Ahhh see, what'd I tell ya boys, the little guys just playing around" I say jokingly. Right now I have the urge to grab his face and kiss the shit out of him but instead I walk into the next room to avoid doing anything stupid. "Oh well bye frank" Ray says behind me and Mikey pushes him so we're all in the next room. 

I sit for a bit listening to Ray and Mikey bicker, but decide to go hang out with frank cause that's really what I want to do. 

What do you want?" Frank says with a smirk. Always so witty. I love it. 

I try and say something witty in return, but then frank is clutching his stomach in horror. 

On impulse I move straight to him. 

"What's wrong? Is that that stomach thing you said you used to have?" I ask. 

He sighs and slowly nods, almost defeated. 

"Honestly Gee, I lied when I said I used to get them. I still get them a lot, but I don't like to tell you guys cause then you worry and when they get really bad I feel like you guys would put me in the hospital" he says and gives the most guilty look, which are like sad puppy eyes. 

"Frank, I would never send you to the hospital if you didn't want to go, unless it was some serious shit like a shark biting your arm off and you trying to think it was badass" I say, and be serious with him at the start but try to lighten it up. 

"I'm sorry" he replies and then gets another sudden attack and winces. 

"Hey don't be sorry" I say, and pity the cute little man in front of me that is in pain and I so desperately want to help somehow. 

Without really thinking, I lift my legs up and lay on the couch and move him around a bit and wrap my arms around his waist.

We're spooning. 

I do random letters on his stomach, and shapes just to try and ease the pain a bit. 

\----messed up here damn it.   
I hum in his ear for a bit, but then feel him suddenly tense up. 

"Hey Gee?" He asks.   
"Yes Frankie?" I say in his ear.   
"Just out of curiosity, what was the last thing you ate?" He asks, and I feel as if my heart stops right there. 

I go numb, and start to internally panic. 

"Uh... Marshmallows or chips or some shit like that" I muster up quickly. 

"Gerard, the last time we had any marshmallows or chips on this damn bus was three days ago, and your little brother ate them all anyway" he says, suddenly getting defensive and it scares me, because frank is never like this with me. 

I pull my arms away from around him and turn over to my other side so I'm facing the back of the couch and pull my knees up to my face. 

"Gerard, I was honest with you, now you have to be honest with me. How long have you been..." He asks, but can't even say it. 

"How long have I been starving myself?" I fill in. 

"Yes." 

"Two and a half months tomorrow" I reply. 

"Why...?" He asks quietly. 

"I don't know" I reply, even though that's only half true. 

"I'm sorry" he says, and then flips over and starts to spoon me. 

This is interesting... 

He puts his arms around my waist and his head on my shoulder and begins gently feeling my arms and hips and I wince because he's probably realising how disgusting I am. 

"Gerard I want to help you but you've got to tell me how" he says, and I just sigh. I couldn't ever tell him. 

I shake, but it comes out of my mouth and I regret it right away.   
"Honestly, just kiss me, that's the only thing that can help me right now." 

And he does. 

"Thank you" I breathe out. My eyes close and I just love how that felt so much better than I ever imagined. 

"I love you" I say. 

"I love you too Gee, and I want you to know how perfect you are already and don't need to weigh less to be any more perfect" frank says. 

Almost unbelievable. 

"Uh... Okay. I don't exactly know what to say to that... Uhm... Can you just kiss me again?" I say, and can feel myself blush like crazy. 

"Sure" he says and smiles, and kisses me. 

As I pull out of the kiss he goes pale and it scares me.   
"please, please don't tell me this has anything to do with you thinking you need to be skinny enough for me to like you...?" He asks. 

And shit. 

I don't say a word. 

"Gerard?" 

Not a word. 

I'm not going to lie to him anymore so I'll just shut the fuck up. 

"Oh, Gerard" he says, and I cower into the couch because I feel like I've just majorly disappointed him. 

"I'm so sorry Gee. I'm so sorry I didn't say anything before and I didn't tell you I loved you and think you're perfect, and I'm sorry I didn't notice before. I do love you and I adore you so much and I regret not telling you how in love I am with you, and if I ever knew it would have lead to this I would have confessed right away" he admits, and suddenly I'm confused. 

"You... You've loved me, like before I stopped eating?" Is all I can ask. 

"Of course I did, and I still do, but I need you to be healthy" he replies strongly. 

"I just... I knew you had something for me for awhile, but I assumed, since you didn't make a move, it was something I was doing wrong, like being too loud or fat or emotional" I babble. 

"And if I would have known that's what you thought about me, I would have tried to change your thinking right away because those were never my thoughts. Gee, It was actually the opposite. I thought you were too amazing, hot, and fucking adorable and hilarious, and I didn't think you'd want me because I'm this weird, dark, quiet kind of dude and that's the total opposite of you" he says and uses his hands for gestures and I smile at that. 

I roll over and look him square in the eyes.   
Sure, I'm on the verge of tears but I still want to look into his hazel eyes because they hold so much beauty. 

"I think you're the most loveable human being on this planet" I tell him, and he giggles. He fucking giggles that little giggle I love. 

"Thanks Gee, you too" he says sweetly. 

"I love you" i whisper. 

"I love you too." He replies.


End file.
